FILM REVIEWS | Finding Dory (2016) and The Counselor (2013)

POTPOURRI REVIEW | Finding Dory (2016) and The Counselor (2013)
Review by Mark David Major

We’re covering the entire spectrum today from A+ to F…

Finding Dory (2016)
Starring Ellen DeGeneres, Albert Brooks, and Ed O’Neill
Original Story by Andrew Stanton and Directed by Andrew Stanton/Angus MacLane

In Finding Dory (2016), the friendly but forgetful blue tang fish, Dory, begins a search for her long-lost parents, and everyone learns a few things about the real meaning of family along the way. Simply put, Pixar does it again because Finding Dory is awesome! Ellen DeGeneres provides another tour de force voice acting performance as Dory. This time out, DeGeneres does not have to steal the movie. She IS the movie. The payoff jokes about Dory’s ability to “speak whale” are especially hilarious (technically, Dory speaks whale shark). Odd as it seems to say, DeGeneres was born to play a blue tang fish with short-term memory loss. Finding Dory does not disappoint. The film will leave you with a big smile on your face. Mark’s Grade: A+

Enjoy a Finding Dory trailer:

The Counselor (2013)
Starring Michael Fassbender, Penélope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Javier Bardem, and Brad Pitt
Directed by Ridley Scott and Written by Cormac McCarthy

The Counselor is about a lawyer (Fassbender), who finds himself in over his head when he gets involved in drug trafficking. Other shit happens. The Counselor has to be one of the dumbest movies I have ever seen, which is only made worse by the fact that everyone involved seems deadly earnest about how clever they are for participating in this film. The list of names (see above) attached to disaster is shocking. The Counselor is so bad that it manages to take the titillating premise of Cameron Diaz having sex with a car and turns it into a completely boring reality. I never noticed that before that when Cameron Diaz plays a bitch, her face becomes incredibly ugly. This film somehow managed to make Cameron Diaz look ugly, which I did not think was possible. Just a bad.. really bad… really, really bad film. Not Michael “you know, I’m bad, you know it” Jackson bad. Bad as in so awful that The Counselor does not even have the common courtesy to be unintentionally funny. The script of Scott’s Prometheus (2012) was Shakespearean by comparison and Prometheus did not make any sense at all. Be warned: if you decide to watch The Counselor, you will never get those two hours of your life back. Also, you are well within your rights to evaluate the level of cuckoo-ness (mental, not avian) of anyone who claims to like this film. Mark’s Grade: F

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